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October 18th, 2018

Solo, a Star Wars Story: ***

When Walt Disney Corporation paid George Lucas $4 billion for the rights to Star Wars, I thought that it had a simple plan. I thought the company was going to produce Episodes VII, VIII, and IX, sell some toys and lunchboxes, and try to make a modest profit on its investment.

That was stupid of me. Somewhere, Mickey Mouse is laughing so hard that he fell into his gigantic vault full of gold coins. Don’t worry, Mickey is okay. He went right back to swimming through the gold like Scrooge McDuck.

Disney’s real plan is to release a new Star Wars movie every year until people finally get sick of Star Wars and refuse to go.

2016’s “Rogue One” was a success by any measure. It grossed a $billion worldwide and did it without pandering. “Rogue One” is a grim World War II-style war movie aimed at adults that just happens to be set in the Star Wars galaxy.

Not everyone liked “Rogue One.” And that’s what made it so impressive. Disney gave serious artists a chance to make a Star Wars film rather than pressuring a well-known director to make an easy-to-swallow, derivative blockbuster.

“Solo” is an easy-to-swallow, derivative blockbuster directed by Ron Howard. I like it anyway, though.

The film is set in the anarchic time between Episodes III and IV. The Republic and the Jedi Council have been liquidated but the Emperor and Darth Vader haven’t solidified their power yet.

“Solo” takes place in a lawless region of the galaxy that is controlled by organized crime syndicates. Ron Howard makes the bold but reasonable observation that order – even evil Sith order – is sometimes preferable to chaos.

That is as intellectually stimulating as the movie gets, however. Mostly, “Solo” is an old-fashioned Hollywood heist flick, with double-crosses galore and even a train robbery.

What “Solo” is lacking in intellectual stimulation, it makes up for with surprisingly good acting. Alden Ehrenreich does an outstanding job of matching Harrison Ford’s lovable swagger without doing an imitation of the iconic actor. The amazing Woody Harrelson anchors the movie as Beckett – the grizzled thief who takes young Solo under his wing.

Along the way, to no one’s surprise, Han Solo runs into Chewbacca and Lando Calrissian.

If you’re looking for surprises, you’ve got the wrong Star Wars movie (you want “The Last Jedi”). This is a safe movie made to blandly satisfy Star Wars nerds like me.

Before shooting began, Mickey Mouse walked up to Ron Howard in an intimidating fashion and said: “Rule 1: don’t do anything to damage the Franchise.” Then he went back to swimming in his huge vault of gold coins.

Disney is going to continue to greedily and cynically churn out Star Wars movies until it stops being profitable.

As long as they are as enjoyable as “Rogue One” and “Solo,” I’m okay with that.

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