September 17th, 2019


Reiss’s Pieces


I don’t know about you, but I get more catalogs than you would think possible! In my opinion, the cost of mailing a letter for you and me is outrageous at best. If they (whoever they are) would charge the catalog people a fair cost to send their stuff, we would not have to raid our savings just to mail a letter. Keep in mind, I am so old that I remember when to mail a letter you had to pay 3 cents and a postcard was just a penny. Can you imagine?


Since I am obsessing about catalogs, I want to mention that I get enough that if I put them end to end, I could get almost to Cape Cod! And, as a rule, I throw most of them away without even looking at them. But a few of them are far above my ability to either buy from them or wear them if I did. And these particular catalogs I put in the bathroom so that when I sit down for a few minutes, I can look through them and fantasize! Fantasize about what, you say? Well most of these catalogs have items and clothing that I couldn’t afford even if my ship should come in laden with gold.


But let’s suppose that I could afford what I liked, the best day I ever had, even when I was young, I could never ever fit into one single thing. I don’t know where they find models that attractive and that thin. Surly they don’t eat and I can’t imagine anyone that thin can exercise much! Don’t you think that a catalog that had normal looking people in it, wearing clothes that you might want to wear, would be more appropriate? Actually, I guess not. If you saw what you might actually look like in those clothes, it would be so frightening that no one would ever buy them. And I say this with a great deal of experience… the catalog that I received yesterday not only has the most beautiful women in it that I have ever seen, they also are wearing the most outrageous clothes that I have ever seen. Not only could I never ever fit into any of them, even if I could, I have no idea where I would wear them! I am not even sure if I would wear them in my own house.


Now comes the big question, where do the various catalog companies get my name and address? I assure you that I have never bought anything from any catalog that sells anything like some of the ones that I get. Of course, I do get some from companies that I do shop in. I know that these companies sell my name and address to others, but I always thought that they sell them to companies and catalogs that are pretty much the same. Please know that I am not talking about receiving catalogs from porno companies or companies who sell “bad” clothing. No, what I do receive are catalogs from such upscale companies that in order to buy from them, I would have to be 45 years younger and 100 lbs. thinner, and that supposes that I could afford even the cheapest item in their catalog. And these particular catalogs are gorgeous. The photography is outstanding, the paper thick and shiny and of course, every model is young, thin and gorgeous! So I ask myself the question, why me? And I would like you to know that I am a catalog shopper, just not these type of catalogs!


So, let’s forget the many catalogs and their many fantastic offerings. I went to the post office the other day and wanted to send my grandchildren each a card. Forget that the cost of a card these days could probably feed a homeless person for one full day, I am just talking about the postage. I had to send seven cards and the cost was $3.43. So, if I add the cost of one card plus the postage, it cost me $3.99, at least, for each card. Am I wrong or is this just too much? If anybody ever asked me, I would like to propose to the United States Post Office that they charge every single person who wants to use their services the same. If they did that, I am positive that the cost for a stamp to send an Easter, birthday, anniversary, Christmas or a valentine would be a lot less than 49 cents. Actually, one of my regrets in life is that I didn’t sit for the test to be postman or the person who is the main person in the individual post offices. Of course, I never got a pension from anyone and the thought of the postal services pay and pensions sound pretty good to me.


My advice to you is this, when you get a catalog in the mail, treasure it and read it cover to cover regardless if it is offering anything that you need or want. The cost of that piece of mail is being subsidized by you and me when we pay our taxes or buy our stamps. What you have in your hands is probably the most expensive piece of mail that you will ever receive.

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