I am writing this letter in support of socialist, progressive, liberal, democrat Bernie Sanders for President of the United States. This may come as a shock to many who know me as a libertarian and Republican. How could I possibly support Bernie Sanders? Over 75 percent of Vermonters approve of the performance of Bernie Sanders in the U.S. Senate. I have reached the conclusion that these same 75 percent of my fellow citizens who three times elected Peter Shumlin, the most progressive governor in the United States, cannot possibly be wrong. I figure, if you can’t beat them, join them.
As the Borg Collective said to Captain Picard, “Resistance is futile.” If so many of my fellow Vermonters can euphorically put the safety and security of their families along with all their hopes and dreams in the hands of one career politician, I can surely do the same. Bernie promises to make everyone “equal” and everything “fair”. If anyone can do this, Bernie can. Just like Obama but even better.
I look forward to his progressive presidency. The American people will finally be granted collective rights by the government. Everything done for the common good, as defined by Bernie and the liberal elites. Bernie will get rid of that pesky centuries old Constitution and Bill of Rights. Who needs individual unalienable rights like freedom of the press, the right to bear arms and trial by jury when progressive government central planners will take care of your every need?
I especially look forward to Bernie’s inauguration. Instead of speaking to Americans about what he is going to do about the $18 trillion dollar national debt, he can read us his 1972 essay in the Vermont Freeman newspaper in support of gang rape and subjugation of women. At his inaugural ball along with “free” healthcare and “free” college education his supporters will be getting “free” maple flavored joints of marijuana, “free” pizza and “free” nachos. There will also be “free” hugs from left wing billionaire George Soros and “free” Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. How could any sane Vermonter vote against all this “free” stuff? Of course the “free” part of all this comes with a 90 percent tax on all those evil Republicans. Damn them anyway for wanting a fiscally responsible, constitutional government. Their ambition should be punished.
Perhaps Bernie will be inclined to move the capital from Washington, DC to Montpelier where there is even less political accountability. A Bernie presidency is going to be more fun than a “free” two-week vacation to Benghazi. Three cheers for Bernie.