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October 31st, 2014

Reiss’s Pieces

 

This winter, I have been reading even more books than usual. I love reading and have always been a voracious reader, and it started before I even went to kindergarten! I am not sure if I could read at such a young age because we didn’t have TV, or if I just learned when I was young and really loved every minute of it. But my reading ability is not what I want to mention today. Nope, what I wanted to point out is that in almost every book you read, they talk about the gorgeous eyes of someone. Every single person has sapphire blue eyes or eyes that are as blue as the sea or the blue of a summer’s sky. Now really, do you know anyone who has deep pools of amazing brown eyes? Or even more outstanding, eyes the color of an Irish shamrock or a gleaming emerald?

 

The more I thought about it, the more I consider myself a real dolt. Not only have I, with a few exceptions, never even noticed the color of anyone’s eyes – never in my 74 years has anyone ever mentioned my eyes. The best that I can say about my eyes is that I can see out of them, at least most of the time. So, why do the authors of almost every book find it necessary to describe their characters by their absolutely noteworthy eyes? I guess it is more interesting to describe one of their characters as having gorgeous blue/green/brown eyes. But every single one? Actually, the only person I even thought about who had fantastic eyes was Elizabeth Taylor, and she really did. She had violet eyes and a double set of eye lashes and all of the above were her own. But the rest of us? Gorgeous eyes? Come on!

 

Now, while I almost never notice anyone’s eyes, I do notice teeth and sometimes hair. Someone who doesn’t brush their teeth regularly always stands out to me. And nothing is worse than someone who has never gone to the dentist and has rotten, black or filthy teeth. I am always surprised at how many of these people there are. Most of the time, I can tell natural teeth from dentures, and I have no problem with anyone who has dentures as long as they take care of them and present their mouths as something with clean and well-fitting dentures. Of course, bad fitting dentures are a problem, not just for me but for the poor person who is trying to live and eat with them.

 

And hair? Well, as someone who has never had good hair, I always notice those who do! Nothing makes me crazier than the woman who says, “Oh, I just don’t know what to do about my hair. It is too thick and in this humid weather just curls up!” Now, I have stick straight hair that is the only thing on my body that is thin! Now that I am old, it doesn’t bother me as much as it did when I was young. When I was really young, I wore braids, and when my mother braided my hair, she would pull them so tight it took until half the day was over before I could see clearly! And when I refused to have braids, I spent my late elementary years and beginning teenage years with just straight and ugly hair.

 

My mother would not let me cut it or get it styled, and so when I was in eighth grade I snuck off and got a DA, do you remember that style? Of course it looked stupid, but I felt I was now the master of my own hair. And then I was invited to go to a prom when I was sophomore, so, I crept off and paid for my very first permanent. I wish I could tell you that I looked wonderful with curly hair for this big event, but the truth of the matter was the stylist who did my hair had no idea how to give a permanent to someone with such straight and thin hair. So I had to go the prom with burnt to the scalp curls. Not a good look.

 

Today, I still have straight and thin hair that is now a non-color as well. So, I always notice people’s hair and, for the most part, am jealous! With men, I always notice the guy with a bad comb over, and want to tell him that it just doesn’t work and that he should cut his hair or shave his head. I think for most women, when they look at men, bald is a good look – at least much better than a comb over. And what about guys who wear a toupee? Well, many celebrities that we know do wear a toupee. Frank Sinatra and Bert Reynolds come to mind, and they look terrific. But keep in mind they are wearing the best toupee that money can buy and it is cared for by professionals who keep it clean and cut right. What we as normal people see is a guy who has a toupee that you can spot from a mile away! And not always, but most of the time, they don’t wash it or keep it clean, so after a very short time it looks like a dead squirrel on their head. I don’t know about you, but I have been at a wedding, conference, or some other place where many people sit close together and notice several guys with terrible toupees! I always want to tap them on the shoulder and tell them to lose the fake hair and just go with whatever God has given them.

 

Of course, for women, I feel differently. Many women who are living with illnesses that make their hair fall out can wear a wig with pride. As a rule they aren’t trying to pretend that this wig is their real hair,  but a way to look and feel better. And to those women I want to say, “You go, girl.”

 

When you see me, be sure to notice that I have eyes of no real color, teeth that are brushed but are sharing my mouth with a few dentures, and my hair is just as straight and thin as it always was. But as long as I have my cane, I can still walk!

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