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December 10th, 2016

Max’s View

Max’s View

Creed **** On “South Park,” there are new characters this season called ‘Memberberries.” ‘Memberberries are little talking grapes that sit on the vine all day, reminiscing gleefully about the things that they remember from their youth. “’member Captain Kirk?” “‘member Chewbacca?” “Ooh, I remember!” People eat the ‘Memberberries and become addicted...

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Max’s View

Rolling Papers *** The State of Vermont still has a $100 million budget deficit. And yet, shamefully, marijuana still hasn’t been legalized here. “But max,” you exclaim, “think of the children.” I AM thinking of the children. I’m thinking of the ones who just graduated high school and college and can’t find a decent job. When marijuana is legalized...

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Max’s View: You Don’t Really Have to Move to Canada

Okay, the presidential election is over and your side didn’t win. I’m sorry. It’s painful. I know how losing feels. I’m a New York Jets fan. If you want to be sad because our country elected a childish, unqualified sexist who knows less about geography and history than I do, then go ahead. That’s fair. If you want to be sad because you think Presid...

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Max’s View

Weiner *** The Spirit of 76 has invaded our nation’s capital! I don’t mean that there is a new spirit of patriotism. I mean that politicians are more likely than ever to break the 7th commandment and the 6th commandment. If a politician spends enough time in Washington, he is very likely to break the 6th Commandment and vote for an unnecessary war....

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Max’s View

Amanda Knox **** We in the Western World have an amazing criminal justice system. We have police detectives who use science to catch the true perpetrator. We have district attorneys who care about nothing but putting hardened criminals safely behind bars. And we have a watchdog media that tirelessly ensures that the truth comes out. The criminal ju...

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Max’s View

13th **1/2 Most of us can agree that it is bad for a society to have too many people behind bars. And it is a sad fact that the United States is the worst culprit. We have the largest prison population in world history. What we may not be able to agree on is how it came to be this way. I have a basic theory. I call it: “build it and they will come....

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Max’s View

We Are Legion: The Story of the Hacktivists **** A lot of you still don’t think that political correctness is a huge problem. That is understandable. You also don’t think that it is a problem that you don’t own a Thestleblower All-Cure device. You don’t miss owning a Thestleblower All-Cure device because it is a thing that doesn’t exist. You don’t...

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Max’s View

Snowden ** “Edward Snowden is a traitor because he promised to protect government secrets but he released them instead.” This is undeniable logic. But it ignores the bigger question. Why does the United States government have so many secrets? I think I could run our entire foreign policy with one major change, one honest mission statement, and zero...

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Max’s View

The Fantastical World of Hormones ***1/2 When we are feeling good, we tend to credit ourselves. We think we are healthy because we’ve unlocked the secret to eating well, sleeping well, staying active, and giving up bad habits. The truth, however, is that good health is often as lucky as it is fleeting. There are aspects of your body that are out of...

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Max’s View

Saudi Arabia Uncovered **** You probably would stop being friends with someone if you discovered that he is a truly horrible person, especially if you discovered that he was secretly executing people for speaking their minds and systematically subjugating every woman in his life. You would probably stop being friends with someone if you discovered...

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