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January 17th, 2017

Max’s View

Max’s View

Do Not Resist ** Have you or anyone you’ve ever known been beaten up or shot by a police officer for no reason? Me, neither. The job of America’s police officers is to keep us safe without harassing us too much in the process. All things considered, they are doing an amazing job. Meanwhile, we keep finding ways to make their job more difficult. The...

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Max’s View

I Am Your Father **1/2 If you will indulge me here, I am going to list all of the accomplishments of my career: 1. I’ve been with the same company for 15 years. That is all. Evidently, I am a responsible and agreeable enough employee to avoid being fired. Because I never go above and beyond in my daily work duties. I assure you of that. Do I try to...

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Max’s View

Rogue One *** Picture it: You just finished a feast at a Chinese buffet. You had six plates of food. Five was clearly the best, but the whole meal was wonderful. As the check is coming, you remember how tasty the beef with broccoli was and you foolishly eat one more heaping plate. Now you feel terrible. That last plate was a big mistake. That final...

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Max’s View

E-Team ** In the spring of 1999, The United States led a NATO force that inflicted a punishing 78-day bombing raid on Serbia. I remember the anger and confusion that I felt when I read about the attacks. By this point in my young life, I was already a pacifist. And I was already aware – as President Eisenhower forewarned – that the military industr...

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Max’s View

For the Love of Spock **1/2 A couple of weeks ago, my wife informed me that she had a conversation with Comcast while I was at work. Without consulting me, she drastically altered our cable agreement. Suddenly, we have a fraction of the channels we had before. Now we have the networks and little else. “Kelly,” I exclaimed, “thank you! This will abs...

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Max’s View

Creed **** On “South Park,” there are new characters this season called ‘Memberberries.” ‘Memberberries are little talking grapes that sit on the vine all day, reminiscing gleefully about the things that they remember from their youth. “’member Captain Kirk?” “‘member Chewbacca?” “Ooh, I remember!” People eat the ‘Memberberries and become addicted...

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Max’s View

Rolling Papers *** The State of Vermont still has a $100 million budget deficit. And yet, shamefully, marijuana still hasn’t been legalized here. “But max,” you exclaim, “think of the children.” I AM thinking of the children. I’m thinking of the ones who just graduated high school and college and can’t find a decent job. When marijuana is legalized...

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Max’s View: You Don’t Really Have to Move to Canada

Okay, the presidential election is over and your side didn’t win. I’m sorry. It’s painful. I know how losing feels. I’m a New York Jets fan. If you want to be sad because our country elected a childish, unqualified sexist who knows less about geography and history than I do, then go ahead. That’s fair. If you want to be sad because you think Presid...

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Max’s View

Weiner *** The Spirit of 76 has invaded our nation’s capital! I don’t mean that there is a new spirit of patriotism. I mean that politicians are more likely than ever to break the 7th commandment and the 6th commandment. If a politician spends enough time in Washington, he is very likely to break the 6th Commandment and vote for an unnecessary war....

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Max’s View

Amanda Knox **** We in the Western World have an amazing criminal justice system. We have police detectives who use science to catch the true perpetrator. We have district attorneys who care about nothing but putting hardened criminals safely behind bars. And we have a watchdog media that tirelessly ensures that the truth comes out. The criminal ju...

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