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Reiss’s Pieces
(by Week of November 19, 2008 - November 19, 2008)
I was watching television the other day and there was a commercial of sorts that included bats. Not baseball bats but real, live black bats. They were swarming around and just shown flying away into the distance. The first thought that I had was “ why would anyone include bats in their advertising?” There have to be other people like me who find bats just too terrible to be included in anything. I know, I know, some of you find it necessary to contact me to tell me how wonderful bats are for the environment and how they eat mosquitoes etc. but I really don’t care. I don’t just dislike bats, I am afraid of them, too.
How can anyone be afraid of such an innocuous creature as a bat? Don’t know and don’t care. I have had several up close and personal encounters with bats and each one was awful! Thus, bats are on my “Oh NO, NOT FOR ME” list. I know they aren’t going to bite me or anything that aggressive. I just don’t want to look at them or have them look at me and I certainly don’t want them to touch me in any way!
My first real encounter with bats was when I was visiting friends at their summer cottage in Mallets Bay. In their kitchen they had a tin pie plate attached to the chimney and for some reason we kept hearing little scratching noises behind the plate. Of course, we all thought that it was mice and because I am not afraid of mice, I thought it would be a good idea to pry the pan off the chimney, trap the mice and set them free outside. The prying went quite well but we were totally unprepared for anything except a couple of calm mice. What came out was several bats who were annoyed at being disturbed from their home. Because I was the leader of the assault team, I was up close and personal with the pan and when the bats came flying out, they hit me square in the face before they began their frantic flying around the cottage.
I can’t tell you how hideous the whole episode was! We actually had no idea how to catch these mammals, so we grabbed what ever was handy, including a frying pan and several tennis rackets. But those bats were much more clever than we were and I don’t think we ever laid a pan or racket on even one. Because I am now old and my memory not as good as it was, I can’t remember exactly how we got rid of them but I think we just opened all the doors and windows and prayed. Whatever really happened, the bats did fly away and I don’t think that they ever came back to their chimney nest.
I have had several encounters with bats and each one was very much like the first. The bats are living quietly somewhere and for some reason I was chosen to try and rid the wherever it was of the “mice,” “squirrels” or whatever we thought it was. The word BATS never crossed my mind or my lips. And each and every bat did the same thing, which was fly right at my face, flap their wings on my skin and then fly away with no real damage done. No damage that you could see, that is, but the hideousness of it still endures!
There are very few living creatures that I don’t like but I guess snakes and bats are the first ones on my ‘Ugh’ list. Honestly, I am willing to live and let live, as long as there is space between us. I won’t kill or maim a bat if it won’t fly into my face and touch me with its wings. Snakes really don’t even come into the conversation because I am ashamed to tell you that I knocked down a group of 6 year olds, one summer in Lake Placid, as a snake crossed my path. I won’t look at magazines with pictures of snakes and as a child I refused to go into the snake house when our class visited the Bronx Zoo. I don’t want them to look at me and I assure you I won’t look at them either.
A rubber snake or a rubber bat for a decoration on Halloween is acceptable to me and if you are one of those who wants to keep one of these creatures as pet, go ahead. Just don’t expect me to ever visit or even discuss your choice of pet.
I am a dog and cat kind of girl and I am not afraid to admit it.
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